Workplace Atmosphere Keeps Many In The Closet

I am not sure why it is so important for gay people to come out. In my opinion, we are more than our sexuality. We should not be nor should we want to be defined by our sexuality. If you take away the sexual preference, aren't we all the same? We want good schools for our kids, a job/career we love with great benefits, a good neighborhood and low gas prices.

Despite momentum for same-sex marriage in legislatures, the courts and public opinion, there's one place that seems out of step with this shift: the workplace. A recent study finds that about half of gay and lesbian white-collar workers are not "out" when they're in the office.

The change was abrupt for Todd Sears. He says he had nothing but positive experiences after coming out in high school. In college, he was even the openly gay rush chairman at a conservative Southern fraternity. But all that changed two weeks after Sears landed a job on Wall Street.

"My managing director called the guy beside me a faggot," he says. "I basically went back in the closet."

Sears says it was exhausting having to hide part of his identity.

"I immediately put my guard up. I made sure that I had a quote-unquote girlfriend, I made sure I didn't use the 'he' pronoun. I basically watched whatever I said."

Surveys show large numbers of straight people don't think gays and lesbians should talk about their personal lives in the office. But Sears challenges anyone to try that for even a day; it's virtually impossible, he says. What's more, Sears says, success in business is built on personal relationships forged over the water cooler, and this puts those in the "corporate closet" at a disadvantage with colleagues.

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