The hypocritical Weiner furor and the Laws of the Internet

As I stated, this is a sad day in politics. It is unfortunate thaty Rep. Weiner had to resign, but I understand his need to want to get the party back in re-election mode. We don't need anymore distractions from getting back to work and dealing with the debt ceiling, taxes, voting rights and youth gun violence.

When the news went out that New York’s most famous Weiner was resigning, I emitted a silent prayer of thanks. Now that he was gone, there would be no more of the metaphorical cakes and ale of Lewd Grainy Pictures of Powerful Men, and we could finally be virtuous and talk about that budget.

Then I clambered up a mountain to try to find the God of the Internet. ”Give me some clear and simple commandments,” I said, “so that this will not occur again.”

“Control Z,” he suggested, unhelpfully, then sighed. “Of course it’ll occur again,” said the God of the Internet. “That is what the Internet was designed for.”

“I thought it was so we could share information and knowledge and our impressions of the world and push forth the boundaries of mankind’s knowledge and feel less alone,” I mumbled.

The God of the Internet shook his head. “If it were not simultaneously an ideal medium for sending images of certain anatomical??????? bits, it would not have taken off.” He sighed. “I have no laws for you. I have simply one truth. If people are not using the Internet to search for lewd images, it is only because they do not know how to use it properly.”

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