by Mychal Denzel Smith
Lauryn represented the absolute best in all of us and our ideas. Here was a young, talented, black woman selling an insane amount of records without sacrificing her artistic or personal integrity. She was empowering in her appearance: a brown-skin goddess with dreadlocks and full-lips in a society that covets none of those attributes. Lauryn was beauty, and strength, and self-love, and intelligence. Her rhymes were infused with spirituality and sociopolitical commentary, weaved around literary references.
She said things like "More powerful than two Cleopatras, bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti, emcees ain't ready to take it to the Serengeti, my rhymes is heavy, like the mind of Sister Betty" connecting hip-hop and street art to ancient Egypt and Dr. Betty Shabazz. Her music was a gateway to black musical traditions across time and space, venturing into doo-wop, reggae, soul, funk, and of course Hip-Hop, yet had the ability to attract crossover/pop audiences. Lauryn was the real thing.
When she left us, we tried to fill the void. India.Arie, Jill Scott, Estelle, and others have all come along and we have rested our hopes for finding that "thing" again on their shoulders. No slight to those other artists, as they all have something to offer in their own right, but none of them are Lauryn. There is only one, and only she is capable of filling that space she singlehandedly created and expeditiously vacated. So long as it's empty, we will always give Lauryn a chance to come back and remind us why she deserved our love.
It's naive, as all evidence points toward the sign that, regrettably, it's time for us to let Lauryn go. As she said, she sacrificed her 20s for us, and even though she did it on her own accord, we subsequently drained her and placed much of our burdens on her young shoulders that we saw as broader than they were. We asked her to heal us when she was struggling to become unbroken herself. Now, years later, we all are hurting again, with new wounds that need mending, but we have to know that the solution can't be found in one another. It's best if we go our separate.
Of course, we won't, because we need to believe in Lauryn, maybe now more than ever.
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