Atlanta: Do You Know A Down-Low Brotha When You See One?

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of living in the beautiful city of Atlanta. To my surprise, single, black, beautiful, educated women,(including myself) had problems finding men and here's why...

In the Black community, it is no secret Atlanta has been considered the haven for black gay men and down-low brothas. According to the 2000 census, Atlanta ranked third among cities with a population of more than 100,000, in the number of same-sex households, behind San Francisco and Seattle. It ranked second in the number of African-American same-sex households, behind only the Washington-Baltimore metropolitan area.

For those who don't know, a "down-low brotha" is a term used to describe men who live their lives as public heterosexuals, but maintain a privately gay lifestyle at the risk of the women in their lives. These men are doctors, lawyers, ballers, socialites, performers and the like. They can be anybody. Yet, it's a dangerous situation, especially for women who don't recognize the signs.

My friends would warn me, if I met a guy, I needed to ask a few leading questions: How do you feel about gays? Have you spent a long time in prison? Do you enjoy watching male strippers? (Just to name a few...)

After you get involved and in a relationship, still, here are some of the signs to look for. If you find yourself saying yes to more than 10 of the questions or at least a majority, chances are he's definitely down-low.

Tale Tell Signs

1. Does he comment on your hair by saying remarks such as: Girl,that's hot or you're working that do?

2. Are his pants always seeming to get tighter and tighter?

3. Does he watch soap operas knowing all the characters and the storyline?

4. Does he get mad if he misses Oprah or another talk show?

5. Does he smell the scented candles in Walgreen's or other stores?

6. Does he wear makeup,eyeliner perhaps?

7. Does he pluck his eyebrows to shape them?

8. Does he spend too much time with a single male friend?

9. Does he ever comment on other men looking good?

10. Does he have a best friend that is gay or people suspect of being gay?

11. Does he wear thong underwear?

12. Does he seem not to enjoy sex as much with you?

13. Does he prefer shopping at the mall more than you?

14. Does it take him forever to pick an outfit to wear out?

15. Does he get excited when the circus comes to town?

16. Does he perm or straighten his hair?

17. Does he own a set of flat or curling irons?

18. Does he use any lip gloss other than Carmex that has a fruity flavor?

19. Does he walk with sort of a switch, like his butt hurts, but still manly?

20. Does he choose the majority of your clothes when you shop together?

21. Does he have a fantasy about getting spanked?

If you said yes to more than 3 of these, run! Ugh! I don't know what I'd do if I found out my man was a down-low brotha. I'm sure I'd run to the closest clinic first! Emotionally, I'd be devastated. One thing needs to be clear, knowing the person you're involved with is far more helpful than the surprise later down the road. Nonetheless, would you even know a down-low brotha just be looking at him?



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